marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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