u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
