My cat gives me a boner
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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