We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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