nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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