you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I deserve this hangover.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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