It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
