At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
