Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
