Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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