His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
