This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
