so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm always down for nudity.
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