If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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