if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
