your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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