I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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