Just fell off a train. Bad.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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