There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
