So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
