conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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