she looked like the before picture.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
