The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My hand turned me down
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
