I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
