It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
