I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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