i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
