Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Randomize
