I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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