I hope mine doesn't look like that
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
