we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
