"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
