i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
are you so shy because you have an std?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
