I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
