sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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