i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
