if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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