ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
