i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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