Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
