i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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