Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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