Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
