Kiss
Puke
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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