She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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