He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
