what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
