U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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