This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
