I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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