FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
