She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
